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I still remember it vividly as if it was just yesterday, a winter morning less than a month before my medical post graduate exam. After pulling a study session of 18 hours I thought of having a good sleep and to do even better tomorrow.
But the next morning was dull and faded, it was almost noon still I couldn’t get out of my bed. As if every single muscle in my body was in spasm and could not move. I couldn’t feel a thing except for this anxiety and emptiness inside and around me.Suddenly everything lost color and the sun rays peeping in my room were lustreless.
I stayed in bed for 12 hours, my roommate came twice to offer me something to eat but I wasn’t hungry at all. I thought maybe some rest would help or may be it’s just pressure headaches before the exam. By this time, I wasn’t worried as there is nothing in the world that cant be cured by a good profound sleep.
So, I popped a pill and again struggled to get some sleep. After 4 hours of constantly staring at the roof and thinking about every damn thing that went wrong in my life, I finally dozed off.
Woke up after 6hours with the same sense of exhaustion. I didn’t want to move or eat or talk to anybody, the headaches, the emptiness were still there. It was like somebody kept a 20 kg weight on my chest and was thumping it steadily with ease. I got a feeling as if I am constantly falling down a dark pit.
5 days passed in this monotonous way and then it hit me, I am suffering from DEPRESSION.