I was always scared.
Scared to take the next step, the next job, to say yes to moving out, leaving home.
Scared to say yes to a relationship, to break all bonds, to start a new life.
In reality, I was scared to know myself, to explore my possibilities, to leave my comfort zone and find the real me. Aren’t we all?
I always believed in the limitations that have been set for me, some of which are imprinted by the society and some by my own confinements. They are comfortable and never puzzled me. I have been brought up with the notion of having a pre-planned life by others. It’s settling and saved me the headache of having any desires, which in turn had a stifling tranquility in it.
But then I met the artists, the mad ones, the dare devils, the dotish types, who question every single strand. Their unpredictability towards life seemed irrational to me. They knew what they wanted from life, whereas I knew what others wanted from my life. Muddled between this new knowledge and my embedded one, somehow I felt more connected to the form as if I always had the wings but no recollection of any flight.
They taught me to have faith and take the leap, even when you cannot see ahead. There is nothing worse than being stuck, it is toxic and poisonous. And that is what I did, I was terrified, but I flocked my wings and shook off my societal gyves, dove into the deep-sea and flew to the horizon, finally, I was free.
Free from the blue print of my life, free to color outside the boundaries and now, I am not scared anymore. I am thrilled, exhilarated and at definite peace.
So why don’t we all say YES to ourselves?
YES to our dreams and desires.
YES to Not knowing and being okay with it.
Yes! you will lose people along the way, some friends maybe even family, but in the end, if you succeed it will all be worth it, as the ones who would have believed in you would have stayed anyway. So, it’s important to leave the baggage along the way, as to make the journey easy.
Most importantly, have faith and believe in yourself, you will be alone, you will suffer and some nights will be so terrible that you will cry yourself to sleep. But always remember that there is dusk after dawn, you rise after you fall, so even if you are not able to see the light at the end of the tunnel – just keep moving.
Here’s to all the people who are struggling, who are confused, who are scared – you are on the right track – JUST KEEP MOVING.