I was born with silver wings, shining bright and beautiful. The little princess in the modern Indian society. My birth was celebrated, my presence was cherished. I was an embodiment of Goddess Durga, my feet were touched and washed, showering blessings around. This was my content world where everyone and everything was equal. So why so many slogans and outcries about saving girl child and women equality were raised, I always questioned myself. Knowing not, that these questions will be answered soon. And one day I turned thirteen to encounter my most dreaded nightmare. The Nightmare all Red and Scary.
RED— The color that represents beauty as well as fear for a woman. For me, it brought fear this time. The day on which my shiny silver wings started shedding its feathers one by one. I was no more a goddess and no one sought my blessings anymore. But still, I was happy for being loved and cared by my family. They taught me to adjust to this biological change by covering my body, by sitting in proper posture with poise and by being well behaved at all times. The only thing they never realized was that this only led more feathers to fall.
With the changed physiology changed my Heart—– Heart that wished for love. The Teenage love, the first love — as pure and fresh as first few raindrops of monsoon. But I was unaware of that no one had the pure vision to see my pure heart as they longed for my body more. It was highly agonizing to shed few more feathers—- The most cherished feathers of love.
Still, I had beautiful dreams in my bright eyes with a wish to fly higher and higher to achieve them. But, soon I was made to realize that I am a girl who has a restricted flight. I had to choose between the career options that are considered suitable and respectable for a female. With my same bright eyes, I saw another feather falling from my most adored wings.
Nevertheless, I was grateful as few feathers don’t matter till I have wings to fly. At the peak of my dreams getting fulfilled, I saw another feather falling and it was time to get married. I was changed from a goddess whose feet were once touched and prayed, to a random girl touching everyone’s feet and seeking blessings.
As the time went by my wings became withered and lustreless, so I kept hiding it from people around. Struggling hard to manage between work and home, now came another feather falling on my womb and people expected for me to become a mother. The very thought of the innocence of a child made me happy and allowed me to follow this path. Until again I realized all they wanted was a male child. With my distorted wings and dashed hopes, I agreed with them because I painfully realized that happiness of a baby girl with silver wings will be as short-lived as mine. So, let the little angel happily rest in heaven, as it is the only place where she belongs.